One of my favorite memories of the months that Jay and I dated was when he told me that he would be willing to dance to “Groovy Kind of Love” at our wedding. As dumb as it sounds, this song was important to me, and I believe that God knew this was a way to clue me into a potential lifetime of happiness with Jay. I like to joke that the moment Jay said “yes” to that song, I knew I’d found my perfect man.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a big Phil Collins fan. I was teased for it at one point – loving this “balding old guy’s” music when everyone else was into New Kids on the Block. But I didn’t care. I remained loyal. By the time I was in high school it was common knowledge that I was into his music, and a former boss even scored a signed photo with the inscription “To Susie: Happy Birthday” on it for me. Woohoo!
But back to the song. I’d decided when I was 12 or so that “Groovy Kind of Love” would be the first song I would dance to at my wedding. Any guy that had a problem with that just wasn’t for me. Whenever I dated a guy, at some point I’d casually bring it up and wait for his reaction. Most of them brushed it off with some comment about how old he was or how lame the song was. Now granted, it wasn’t fair to judge a 15-year old teenage boy on his future wedding song, but I did. And if they didn’t love the idea then they weren’t the one for me. I loved the song, and anyone who loved me wouldn’t have a problem with it. I even had the DJ play the song for me at a homecoming dance that happened to fall on my birthday. It was definitely not anything the kids in my high school listened to, and I think my date was actually embarrassed as he danced with me. So, naturally, he was out.
Jay and I started dating our last year of college. We had only been together a few months when I mentioned the song to him. Every fiber in my soul told me that this was the guy for me, that we were meant to be together, that this was it. I’d prayed and prayed and put our relationship in God’s hands. But I was still scared that he wouldn’t pass my wedding song test. I knew it was silly, but I was still scared that if he didn’t like the song it would be hard to see past such a flaw, and then what was I supposed to do?
But it wasn’t even an issue. He already knew the song. Already liked the song. And, since we were already discussing our future at that point, was already okay with that being our first dance at our wedding. I knew then I’d found my man.
I realize that the whole thing was completely absurd. But to me, it’s just one of the hundreds of ways that God has had His hand in our relationship. As ridiculous as it is to put that kind of weight on something that really has no bearing on future marital success, I know that God knew it mattered to me. He knew that it would be hard for me to feel loved by someone who wouldn’t give in on something so trivial. That we would have enough that we would differ on over the years, we didn’t need to start off with our wedding song. God knew that it was incredibly hard for me to risk having my heart broken again, and that this might be the gentle nudge I needed to move forward and say, “I do.” And that in my shallow mindset I might miss out on the man He’d chosen for me.
God knew the desires of my heart, and granted me something that I’d wanted for so long: a man who would dance with me to the most romantic song ever written. My God cares about me completely – even the silly things – because He loves me.
We just celebrated 12 years of marriage, and I’m happy to say that our love has only gotten groovier.
Happy Anniversary baby. I love you. ❤