If you’ve got kids, you already know what I’m talking about. I’m willing to bet my entire pile of clean laundry that something you know you parentally stink at just jumped into your head.
Well, for some bizarre reason I feel compelled to share some of mine here. Maybe it’s because acknowledgement is an early step towards correcting the problems. More likely it’s so that my girls can’t throw them at me later in life… because if they do I can just remind them that I wrote the blog post on my mom fails well before they were aware of them.
So here goes.
- I don’t always make Julia wear socks with her shoes.
Ridiculously smelly feet run on my side of the family (that was a pretty good pun, right?), and I’m well aware that socks are supposed to help reduce the stench that is potent enough to outdo the work of four burning Yankee candles. But here’s the thing: on our feet they really don’t make that much of a difference. Trust me on this, because when I was teaching my smelly feet were the objects of one of our science experiments and my students proved this to be true. Most of the time, yes, Julia wears socks. But then she doesn’t take them off, and she runs outside with them (because we boycott shoes outside unless Daddy is with us) and the socks get filthy. Then we need to go somewhere, and I’m too impatient to wait for her to find another pair. So the shoes go on, sans socks. And yes, the smell is nearly lethal, which is why you can usually find a pair of shoes full of baking soda outside our back door.
- My girls’ clothes are almost always too small.
I truly have no idea how you know if clothes fit kids properly. Sure, there are telltale signs… jacket sleeves shouldn’t stop at the elbow, socks should cover the heels, and pants should button without the elastic-in-the-buttonhole-loop method so fondly used by pregnant women. But beyond that, if it goes over the head, it fits. If you can sit and it doesn’t hurt your belly, it fits. If they are pajamas that no one but us will ever see… well, let’s just say that our 8-year-old just tossed a pair of 5T pajamas. I am HORRIBLE at this. I’m going to guess that about 95% of the time I look at my girls and realize that something’s just not right – then a few minutes later it dawns on me that they are wearing something they received as a birthday gift 2 years ago. Then I reference old photos and see the difference in fit, get incredibly embarrassed, and let them know they can NEVER wear that article of clothing again. Check out Julia’s pants in this photo… those aren’t capris. I know. Shameful.
- Raw carrots and frozen corn are staple veggies in our house.
Now before I get slammed, I’m aware that corn is a starch. But they sell it with the frozen veggies – right next to the frozen peas, which I know are vegetables – so I’m counting it. Also, I’m aware of the need for variety, and I do serve up other options. Emily’s pretty great about eating whatever veggies we offer up, but Julia (remember, she’s 3), has trouble eating “circles” (peas), “ovals” (lima beans), and “string beans.” Our rule is no dessert unless everything is eaten, and it’s their choice if they want dessert or not. Sometimes if I know they don’t love the veggie-of-the-night, I’ll make dessert super-awesome and put it right in front of them on the table, which works almost every time. But other nights I don’t feel like waiting 3 hours for Julia to eat one “circle” at a time or hear Emily ask if she really has to eat them all, explaining that she really wants dessert but just can’t do it. So I serve what I know they’ll eat without fail: raw carrots or frozen corn. Both of my girls are natural bunnies and adore carrots. The frozen corn started when Julia was teething – Jay gave her a few pieces since they thaw so quickly and were smaller than Cheerios, and she loved them. The girls will eat these veggies just about any time of day. Sometimes my girls just amaze me with their good manners… their kindness towards each other… their beauty… their obedience. Those days I want to make dessert as achievable as possible, so I hijack the system and give them what they like. It’s not my fault they amaze me so often!
After typing all this I’m completely wiped. I’ve barely started in on my many Mom Fails, but I’ve got to call it quits already. It’s not easy airing your dirty laundry, and I think I’d rather do this in small stages – much like I do my actual dirty laundry. But don’t worry… I’ve already started on my next post… there’s loads more where that came from.
PS – You know it’s a successful post when there are TWO awesome puns. 😀
PSS – Thanks for ignoring my car floor in the first picture (if you missed it, don’t go back to look). Guess I know what I’ll be working on tomorrow. 😦